The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 296 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 271 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 65 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. With a calendar, your days are numbered. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 65 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 53 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 48 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 54 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. The only time the world beats a path to your door... is if you're in the bathroom. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 202 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Who is Jack Schitt you ask? The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says " you don't know jack schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O Schitt, the owner of kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt,Giva Schitt,Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' wishes, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout their childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg,Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son left home to tour the world, and recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 93 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Just a quick observation, when people don't want to play the blame game, they're to blame. -Jon Stewart Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 199 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.